


rings of smoke

by Omnidraconia, VinculumStellarum



Category: Pop'n Music (Game)
Genre: Gen, Smoking, mentions of drug use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:42:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26271340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Omnidraconia/pseuds/Omnidraconia, https://archiveofourown.org/users/VinculumStellarum/pseuds/VinculumStellarum
Summary: How could Leon's dad smoke, and yet stay so in touch with himself and the world, unlike everyone else he'd seen smoke?
Kudos: 2





	rings of smoke

**Author's Note:**

> [TW: drug use, mentions of drug use]
> 
> Yo, Benji here! This is a fic I've had sitting around in my Google Docs for probably... three months now, I wanna say? Actually I just remembered it's September now. Four months, nearly exact. The doc was made on May 7. Jesus.
> 
> My good friend Omni helped me write part of this! He's super cool, and you should definitely support his fanfiction, too. Thanks again, dude :D
> 
> I can't think of much else to add here, so I hope you'll all enjoy it.

“Hey Dad, what are you doing?”

Puffs of smoke floated slowly into the dark, crimson air as Mr. KK put a worn cigarette to his lips, with nothing but a small flame dully illuminating his tired face. He’d had a long day at work—although thankfully, not as grueling as usual—and after he’d changed out of his work clothes and eaten dinner, he’d decided to wind down with a nighttime smoke. Perhaps not having realized how long he’d been outside, his adopted son Leon peeked behind the front door in concern, clearly having been woken up from the smell. Donned in little more than a fuzzy, oversized pajama shirt and plaid lounge pants, he stepped outside to join his dad, shivering just a little as he started to adjust to the cold.

“Uh, well, it’s nothin’ much, really. What are you doing? You should be asleep,” KK replied, turning around to face the pink-haired boy with a smile. It was the kind of smile that told a story, perhaps one that wasn’t exactly the happiest, but one where seeing that smile meant you were important to him.

“Well, I was gonna sleep, but I thought something was burning outside. Guess I should’ve figured it was you.” Leon yawned, cupping a hand over his nose and mouth so as to not breathe in the smoke from KK’s cigarette. Scratching the back of his head, he quickly ran back inside to put on his sneakers—the ground was just a bit too cold to be standing outside in only socks—and returned, staring up at the night sky.

KK pulled the cigarette from his mouth and twiddled it in between his fingers, coughing. He wanted to continue smoking for just a little longer, but he wasn’t about to do that in front of Lee. He simply couldn’t feel right about it. “Sorry about that,” he mumbled between breaths. “Maybe I should’ve picked somewhere else for this. Forgot you leave your window open at night.”

“It’s all good, Dad. Really,” Leon laughed. “It’s not like I can’t breathe, and it’s not like I’m not used to it either. People smoke all the time at work.” KK felt himself cringe hearing those words; no one like the kid, in his opinion, should have been _used_ to such a smell. He hoped he didn’t notice the reaction.

Still admiring how the clouds floated in an almost mechanical way in the air, Leon glanced at his dad briefly, watching as he dropped the cigarette to the ground and stomped out the dull flame. With no reliable source of light left, an oversight he wished he’d thought about, KK bent over and fumbled around the pavement to pick up after himself.

“…Now that I think about it, what’s that like? Smoking, I mean,” Leon asked, pointing vaguely to where the discarded cigarette had laid. Despite the nature of his workplace, an innocent curiosity still glazed over his eyes, clouding the knowledge that hid within. The things he’d seen didn’t end pleasantly very often.

KK felt his heart drop, and in its place, an instinctive defensiveness rose in his chest. “It’s nothing you should know about,” he bit back quickly, the words harsh and heavy. He instantly clenched a fist and turned away, regretting his sudden outburst, but despite the response, Leon simply stood patiently, waiting for him to regain his composure.

“I’m not gonna do anything stupid, Dad,” Leon muttered, silently taken aback. KK could have sworn he heard trembling in the boy’s voice, and a wave of guilt washed over him. “I’ve already seen what the people at work do. Too much, maybe. I just… how come you’re able to do it and not lose your head like them?”

“It’s something you get with diligence. Something along those lines, anyways. If you’re not very, very careful, you’ll end up in a living hell.” KK gritted his teeth, still staring blankly at the blades of grass under his feet. He couldn’t bring himself to look back up at his son yet, lest the boy be visibly upset.

“Well, yeah… of course. I’m not gonna say that’s not true,” Leon replied, nodding his head and waiting for his dad to continue. A little worried he’d accidentally upset him, he tried to keep calm and folded his arms behind his back, teetering back and forth in place.

“I wouldn’t expect you would, there’s a brain in that skull of yours and we both know that.”

“Heh, true.”

“Really, though. People think that oh, just one puff’s not gonna hurt, and the next thing they know they’re on their knees at the mercy of some sketchy asshat in the alley begging for one more kilogram. I’m not sure you realize exactly how dangerous it all is.”

“If it’s dangerous, then why do you do it?” KK paused, not having expected the sudden question thrown his way. He knew he should have, it was only a matter of time before Leon felt ok enough to ask him such a common question. He felt the urge to blurt out "I was stupid and made stupid decisions", but he only took in a deep breath to keep his thoughts inside.

"I've been dealing with dangerous things since I was your age. I was pulled into smoking and couldn't let go because..." He trailed, not wanting to admit it felt good. Everything about smoking was selfish- you benefited while everyone around you had to tolerate it's smell. He felt sick.

"Because?" Leon said, pressing further.

"Because I like it. And it's an addiction," KK said, looking at Leon. He expected Leon to be mad, or crying, or something, but he only looked sweetly back into his dad’s eyes, amplifying the awful feeling that brewed inside. He didn’t deserve this kind of mercy, not when this was the example he was setting for his own kid.

“I… I think I understand,” Leon mumbled quietly, unsure how to tread further. He should have known it was coming, given the kinds of questions he had asked, but he was still a little shocked how personal the conversation had become. He felt like he’d hit a nerve a little deeper than he should have, and he wasn’t prepared to begin a conversation that would leave them both vulnerable. Despite this uncertainty, he continued forth, raising his voice so he’d be easier to hear. “I don’t imagine that, um… that it’s pleasant being so reliant on something like that.”

“You and I both!” KK exclaimed, starting to get emotional. “Look, let me, let me put this in a way you might understand more. Let’s use the club as an example. You like going to the club, don’t you?”

“I mean, I work there, but yeah?”

“So, let’s pretend that you’ve never been to the club before. Everyone around you tells you it’s dangerous. You’re never supposed to go there, but it leaves you a bit curious what’s there that’s so bad, huh?”

“Mhm.” Memories resurfaced within Leon’s mind, and he thought about adding a personal anecdote to KK’s explanation thus far, but held his tongue. It wasn’t a good idea to sidetrack.

“One day, you decide, fuck it, let’s hit the club. You and your buddies make your way over when no one’s looking. You’re not gonna tell anyone you went. Pretend to everyone outside your little circle that it never happened.”

“But I didn’t really have friends then,” Leon blurted, promptly putting his hands over his mouth. “Sorry, um, continue?”

“Sure,” KK replied, trying not to show his concern for Lee. He’d known about how Leon got into the scene, but it still worried him to think about every time it came up. The kid got damn lucky. “Anyways, you get there, and even though you’re not supposed to be there, it’s fuckin’ awesome there. It’s really dangerous and if you visit too often, you’re bound to get hurt, but what matters to you and your buddies in the moment is that it’s awesome _right now._ ”

“Sounds about right.”

“You’re lucky, Lee, is what it is. Your coworkers are good souls.”

“Yeah…”

“But like I was saying, after you’ve gone that first time and come home, you feel the _urge_ to go back. A craving. You need more of that rush, and by Zee nothing’s gonna stop you from getting it. So you start going twice a week. Then four days a week. Before you know it, you’re there every night all night, and the rush isn’t there anymore.”

“And you’re too far in at that point, huh...?”

“You’re fucking pathetic when you hit that stage,” KK growled, angry at himself. Remembering all his stupid mistakes, all the times he should have been in serious trouble, seeing the ones around him continually get worse and worse… sometimes, it was a bit too much all on its own. He wondered how the hell he went from that to being happily married with a kid. He wondered why he deserved it.

Leon continued to stare at his dad empathetically, hoping he could offer something, anything, to make the situation any better. Tears began welling in his eyes—seeing KK like this, how could he not feel just as sad for him?—and as he choked them back, he tried to be as supportive as he could. This was new territory.

“I don’t think it’s pathetic, Dad,” he said soothingly. “‘Cause you can still get help, right?” There was a soft, childlike quality to this statement, to how Leon had said it, that overwhelmed KK with emotion.

“It’s pathetic when you’ve been like this for fucking years on end, and you’re supposed to be a good role model! Lee, I couldn’t live with myself if I found out I’d influenced you to start smokin’ shit too…” The waterworks started to pour, and instinctively, KK reached for a hug. Leon reciprocated, not being able to help but cry a little too.

“I’m… not that stupid, Dad.”

“I know you aren’t, but… but…” Everything was too much right now. KK’s mind was racing, and he was struggling to put together coherent thoughts in the midst of his emotional breakdown. The only thing he could find himself able to do was apologize, apologize for throwing this onto the kid, apologize for not setting a good example, apologize to try to make himself feel better. Apologize for the sudden outburst.

“It’s okay. Dad… it’s probably really hard. I don’t know what that’s like. You’re brave.” The emotions were beginning to make Leon sleepy, and as he continued to hug his dad, he started to sink into him a little more, his eyes beginning to shut.


End file.
